She’s getting over her crankiness but the past few months have been tough for her. I know this because I have known her well for a long, long time. I have observed her moods and I am glad this recent spell is over. It all started when she began to approach her 65th birthday. That fact alone, I could tell, was slightly annoying for her. But then the telephone began ringing. The typical call would begin, “Hello, ____, how are you? How is the weather in North Carolina?” After ____ replied with the weather report—snow in the higher elevations, rain along the coast, dry and sunny in the Piedmont with a cold front moving in from the north, the caller would say something like this: “Well, ____, you know you are going on Medicare soon. You are going to be 65 before long, ha, ha, ha! And you know Medicare is not going to provide sufficient coverage for your health care, tee, hee, hee. You will need to have supplemental insurance so you won’t be a burden on your children. How many grandchildren, did you say you have?” By this time she has caught on that this call is not from someone calling to remind her of the next book club meeting.

     Well, the frequency of these calls rapidly increased over the next few weeks. She asked a friend in the insurance business to guide her and took care of this need. However, until her birthday, the calls just kept coming. They would start at 8:00 a.m. and reach a crescendo at 6:00 p.m. after which they would taper off ‘till bedtime. Her mood worsened over the weeks. Finally, the straw that broke the camel’s back—so to speak—was when the caller was told that she had already taken care of the matter. He then asked her, “Would you be interested in a burial plot?”

     Now, you’ve got to admit, the woman deserves relief from this. Which brings me to the second part of this sermon about…er…er…er. Oh, this sermon about life! She finally, along the way, began to take the telephone off the hook for long periods of time. The house that had usually been filled with music playing in the background, was now filled with the

screech of the telephone trying to get her to hang it up! The significant others in her life knew to call her on the cell phone whose number she carefully guarded. The whole atmosphere of the household became fouled and friends were troubled by the “busy” signal they always got when they tried to call. Now, I tell you this tale of telephonic woe because I am confident many of you have been through the same ordeal. I myself languished in this condition last year. This was despite the fact that I had registered to be on the list to avoid “unwanted calls” for 2 years already. My sunny disposition was transformed into something more like a winter squall. I did not like the way I began to think and feel. It became a matter of fairness and justice, kindness and civility for me. Now, I take my place on our journalistic street corner to say my piece.

     Here is my solution. Let’s require the telephone company, which charges us a fat but fair fee to have a phone in our homes for our own purposes, deduct 50 cents from our bill and charge it to any caller from a business number. They could do this. If you doubt it, take a look at the complexity of detail on your phone bill. This would be the right, fair and just thing to do. Be honest now. How many of you got your phone installed because you wanted to make it easier for unwanted business callers to wake you at 8 a.m. on Saturday morning or interrupt your evening meal? Of course, I know many people are trying to make a living working at these phone banks, but there’s got to be a better way than this. I’m told they get paid very little too. However, somebody’s making lots of dough from this.

     Ah, well, if you need to reach me and find my number busy, send me an email or a carrier pigeon. I wanted to give you my cell phone number but ____told me I would be an idiot if I did that!

• Back to Archive
• Back to Media Gallery