It won’t be long before we will observe St. Valentine’s Day. So, it’s not too early to start getting ready to celebrate the occasion. It is unclear exactly who the Valentine is who was buried on February 14 sometime before 496 A.D. That’s when the feast day was established by Pope Gelasius I. Valentine was a popular name back then and we mostly rely on a tradition that has a Roman priest by this name getting in trouble with the emperor for marrying Christians. Back in those days, assisting Christians was considered a crime, so Valentine was condemned to death. But the emperor liked Valentine and spared him—temporarily. When Valentine then tried to convert the emperor, his head was chopped off. Valentine learned a valuable lesson from this: be cautious when telling a big politician he needs to embrace a different God when he believes himself to be the only God! Such an effort is likely to end badly for the evangelist—at least in the short run.

     I’m glad Valentine took a stand for marriage. He is deserving of sainthood. Marriage needs all the friends it can get. The odds of success in marriage these days are not all that great. Some folk ought not even try. That’s okay for some. Still, I’m strongly in favor of it. A good marriage is one of the best things in the world. A bad marriage is like hell on earth. And lots of wonderful people are miserable marriage partners. That’s just a fact, as every divorced person can tell you. This is why when a marriage has truly died, it ought to be given a decent burial. However, many bad marriages do not fall apart. Lots of married folk maintain the old tradition that when their romance dies, they stick with what they’re stuck with. Valentine’s Day offers encouragement for new beginnings for couples who have lost the magic in their relationships. It’s worth a try!

     Almost 100 years ago Richard Cabot said: “It is fashionable nowadays to talk of marriage as a contract between husband and wife. This is something like calling violin music a contract between fiddle and bow. It is not untrue; it is merely foolish. There is a contract in marriage and there is a contract between bow and strings. But there is so much else, that no one in his senses should pick out this subordinate element to characterize the whole.”

     I have no doubt that getting ready for Valentine’s Day might require that some couples renew their contract. That could be a good thing. But I am also certain that every couple can gain from renewing the real music of their marriage. The words are essential to a good marriage. So learn the lyrics. But remember, the wonder is not in the words. It is in the music! Tune up the strings! Resin up the bow! Valentine’s Day is just around the corner!

     How can you approach this Valentine’s Day? Look at your husband or wife through the eyes of gratitude. Think of what graciousness is required for another person to be married to you. Dream some new dreams with your mate about what you can begin on February 15 to do together. Make your dream something that requires both of you for it to be achieved. Survey your landscape together and note how beautifully green the grass is on your side of the fence!

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